reality or fiction

It's not like it's my fault to love love stories. And it's also not really my fault that after reading my imagination goes too far and starts thinking that the whole story was real. Sometimes too far til I pretend that I'm the lucky girl in the story. Being protected by her really hot boyfriend. Maybe it's because I can't really find my own love story. I am boy crazy after all....I've just finish reading the third book of the Twilight series and if I had a chose (which is what I usually pretent to have) I would actually feel really bad for Jacob. Eventhough I still think that having a vampire for a boyfriend is pretty cool. And is probably better to have a really cold skin boyfriend than a burning hot skin one in Malaysia. What with the weather and all. But sometimes I get too caught up in my imaginatipon that I can't really differentiate reality to fiction. It's pretty annoying actually. I mean, in fiction you can have the best life and boyfriend ever but when you actually crawl back to reality, the whole world seems to become really unfair!! Everything you thought you had actually doesn't really exist. It really annoys me. How cool would it be if I were the one that needed protecting, the one who would for madly in love with the nicest vampire ever lived and the one that has to make the decision on whether to love him all my life (a.k.a turn into a vampire myself). At first if you're looking for another point of view, you'd think I'm going crazy...I mean with me smilling and kinda talking to myself and all. But I'm actually just reacting the scenes out and pretenting the I'm the heroien. I bet that alot of people do that. It's sorta embarassing too. And a little confusing. It's like you're in this magical world and all of a sudden your mom calls you to come down for dinner and you're back to boring reality. Then all that you thought was happening actually didn't happen?? Argh...confusing!! But how much would I give if I could actually live IN the story and choose whether or not I want to come back to this stupid annoying reality. It wouild be really fun to keep changing you're personality (and boyfriends). I guess that's how actors and actresses feel. Hmmm....I think actresses could be a really good job for me. And noyone would say I'm crazy. Not that they say I'm crazy at all. Just precautions. Although, fiction can be confusing itself. I bet I won't be able to tell who's the real me anymore. It could turn out to be a good thing...or maybe not. Anyway I still would like to live in the world though. In that exciting world of Twilight. But it's only in my dreams now that I can't do that. Once again, reality stinks!!