Thomas

Well, my relationship with Tom is really not well right now.How could he do that to me? I know we weren't really going out but you don't go around telling someone that you finally admitt your feelings for her and then turn around and start kissing someone else!! Have you ever thought how that would make me feel?? And he didn't even tell me! He just invited me to this site on the web and BAM!! There it is, staring right at me, a photo of him kissing his 'girlfriend'. And with my brother standing right behind me at the time, how was I suppose to react? I couldn't just start crying (of course I didn't really felt like crying at the time, too much anger in my system) in front of the computer! Even though I would really like to say that I'm over it and it didn't really hurt me that much, I can't. 'Cause he really did hurt me and I'm not quite over it yet. I feel like I'm just his experiment or something. I know I was a jerk too, at first but I didn't hurt him. I was a jerk in a way that I thought we would be better of as friends. But that was just for a really short period of time. And I didn't even tell him that. Every year when he comes back, that funny butterfly feeling in my stomach comes back again and I just fall back to liking him. It's really annoying you know. The reason I don't have a boyfriend now is totally because I keep comparing others to him. He's just like the best guy ever. But, honestly, really slow for a guy. GOD! He's so annoying! I mean, first you hurt me then you keep treating me the same way like last time (before he had a girlfriend and when he would really miss me and secretly try to hold my hand and gets adorably jealous) and then he keeps talking about how much he wants to go back to England when I totally sacrificed my physics result for him. So self-centered this person is! I even tried making him remember our (or preferably his) old feelings but I don't think it's working. It's like that song from Taylor Swift "You Belong With Me". I heard that recently, his so called girlfriend was sorta cheating on him. But I guess that's a romour since he's still in love with his 'muppet'. YUCK! And they even have a song! How annoying is that?? 'Love story' also by Taylor Swift, their song is. I HAVE to get back at him. I won't call it jealousy or just over reacting, it's more like revenge. And he won't see it coming. Hopefully he'll understand that I didn't mean for it to go this far. He pushed me to the edge. I'll probably try to hurt him twice as painful as he did to me. That boy gave me nightmares for god's sake. I even tried making his friend like me (worked succesfully) but still nothing. A little jealousy but still nothing big. Ugh! This is really irritating me. I hope they break up or something. But on the bright side, he's not coming next year. So I'll have plenty of time to think of ways to torture him. And I won't get distracted from my studying for next year's SPM. No one actually knows how I feel. They try to tease me about not being wanted and all but I always put on a strong face. I know when I'm not wanted anymore, I don't need you guys to keep reminding me. But he hurt me most when he kept saying how much he wanted to go back to England. Well fine! Go back and don't ever come back here ever again!.... I don't really mean it but he can't just keep saying that even when he wasn't saying it directly to me. It makes me feel like I'm no longer part of his life anymore. It really hurts. I know you don't want me but do you have to keep saying it!! I can tell that there would always be apart of me that wouldn't forgive him for this. Eventhough I don't show it. It's nothing personal but he'll be sorry.